Wednesday, December 24, 2008

Dilemma! Conundrum! Quandary!

So I was just about to hit the hay, but I needed to get this out. Here goes...

I just finished watching Garden State. While it is not a particularly sad movie, it really bummed me out. I know perfectly well why it effected me so much, and it's the same reason why What Dreams May Come made me a wreck last month... I, Thomas Jordan (Anthony, for all you Catholics) Conger, am lonely as hell. Now while I've always been one to bitch about such things, I think there are a few who can attest to how much I have improved in that area as of late. Here comes the weird part.

I miss it.

How messed up can my brain be that it actually misses being flooded with serotonin or acetylcholine? Am I really that nuts? What kind of brain misses hopelessness? Fear? Depression? Anxiety? Dashboard Confessional?


Or maybe I just miss the attention. Maybe that's why I'm writing this blog... to fulfill that need. Maybe I should start writing more. Start a short story. A novel. Some poetry. Cathartic blog posts.

Maybe these movies are getting to my head. Maybe they're making me think I need some profound "A-HA!" moment... right now... right here. Maybe I need to find a girl. Maybe I need affection. Love. Lust? Who knows?

Well, I know what I need in the present. I need sleep. Thanks for reading this, Lease... since you're likely to be the only one.